Oh Shit, It's a Ghost!?
Oh wait, not that's Jesus.
One of my favorite Biblical stories has always been Peter walking on water. It is such an amazing story for so many reasons, and there is a lot going on in so few verses. I also identify with Peter personally as well. As much as we can discern about any of the disciples, or characters in the Bible, from the little we read about them, it can still be interesting to wonder about who they were as people. What were their personalities like? What did they look like? What was their favorite food? Did they ever use profanity? I know.
From everything we read about Peter, it seems that he can be slightly impulsive. This is not always a bad thing and sometimes serves him very well. The story for today is perhaps the best example of this trait. “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” Peter then steps out of the boat and walks on the water towards Jesus! Are you kidding me!? No matter what happens next, we all need to stop and just consider how truly amazing this would be.
Are You Just Like Peter Too?
So I am a number four on the Enneagram. If you hate personality tests, do not worry because I do too. But apparently this is inherent in a four, so isn’t that just a kick in the nuts. The last time I studied this particular personality test, the group I was with did a deeper dive into the results and I will say it made a lot more sense to me. In particular, the way I make decisions is almost word for word described in the description of a four. Fours lead through emotion and tire quickly of looking at lots of options, and abhor group decision making processes due to the amount of time it takes to come to a conclusion. Fours want to make a decision and get on with it, leading a person like me to at times to be half way down the wrong path for a couple of minutes before having to realize it was in fact the wrong decision. But action must be taken and its OK to sometimes be wrong. There is so much more to what I am trying to say about what I learned about myself through this process, but it is boring and I am not doing the best at it anyway—so on we go!
I am saying, mostly, that I identify with Peter wanting to make snap decisions with information he has at hand and through the strong emotions he seemed to be feeling. “Hey, call me out onto the water!” “Hey, you must be the Son of God!” “But no, we will protect you!” “Let me make a few tents for everyone here!” It serves him well until it does not. I understand this about Peter. I believe he had a lot of intuition in his decision making process.
Where’s Wyatt? Down by the Creek, Walking on Water.
So Jesus is walking on the water toward a boat full of his disciples. Did anyone know Jesus could walk on water before this? It is early in the morning and when the disciples see him they are “terrified, saying, ‘It is a ghost!’ And they cry out in fear.” The boat is rocking. One disciple is trying not to vomit. They look over and see… oh shit a ghost! They are terrified and cry out in fear. Have you ever been so afraid you cried out in fear? As much as I would like to suggest here that they must have shouted out something like, “Oh now we are all going to fucking die” or, “Shit, shit, shit, shit, shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit,” it would go against my own experiences of being terrified. At best I have gotten out a, “eeehhhhhhh,” and at worst just total silence as I work to get away from whatever is causing the terror. But we are all different so maybe a few cuss words escaped the lips of the disciples in terror. Who knows for sure?
“Take heart, it is I; do not be afraid.” Jesus has the best responses in moments like these.
They are all recovering from this moment of terror when Peter blurts out, “Hey if it’s really you tell me to come out onto the water with you!” The other disciples are still wondering if the ghost is tricking them when Peter starts stepping out of the boat. What the hell is Peter doing? Peter was probably thinking, “What the hell am I doing?” And Jesus was probably thinking, “Let’s see where this goes.” But Peter gets out of the damn boat and starts walking on the water towards Jesus!
Let us take a moment to experience this in our imaginations. You are Peter and you have just stepped out of the boat. You are standing on the water, eyes locked on Jesus. What are you thinking? All the hairs on your body standing up. How thrilling is this? What are you feeling!?
If you have read more than just this one post, you know I would be internally or externally shouting, “Fuck yeah!” It is the first word in moments of extreme joy that rises up from my heart. “Fuck yeah, this is really happening!”
Yoda or Jesus—Do or do not, for I am the Way the Truth and the Life.
A story from my past came to mind. Do with it what you will. In the least hopefully it causes a chuckle or two. Allegedly when Yoda pulls out his light saber to fight Count Dooku in Star Wars Episode II: The Clone Wars, unreliable sources, such as one of my brothers, report that I shouted out embarrassingly loud, “I have been waiting for this moment my whole life!” Now listen, I recall being extremely excited when Yoda draws his light saber with the force and squares up against the sith Dooku. But we can all call into question the validity of my brother’s account through the simple truth that he did not hear any profanity. If I was as excited as he says, surely he would have heard something different. I will let you decide. I suppose anything is possible.
“But when he noticed the strong wind, he became frightened, and, beginning to sink, he cried out, ‘Lord, save me!’”
This part of the story is perhaps what makes it so real to me. If Peter simply walked out to Jesus and they started dancing on the water, I might begin to question it. But there is a ring of authenticity to Peter being caught up in the moment only to realize what was really happening. Like a cartoon who has run off a cliff defying gravity simply through not realizing there is no longer ground beneath them, Peter suddenly becomes very aware of his surroundings. The wind is still whipping about and fear takes over, causing logic and reality to set in. Peter starts sinking and cries out!
Does anyone else relate to Peter? I mean this is almost every moment in my life when I have trusted God with anything, which is every major decision for me since 1998. Go on that mission trip - hell yeah. Attend seminary - yes please. Marry the woman of my dreams - most definitely a hell yeah! Take this job, travel there, etc - off I go. All major life decisions I have done my best to see as a step towards God in obedience, or in the least as an effort to ask for a blessing as I go. And life does life. We step as confidently forward as we can towards anything we feel called, out onto the water so to speak, and then the real challenges start. We might not always sink straight away, but, if you’re like me at all, we notice the strong winds and we become frightened. We can question everything from our identity to our faith to who it was that called us out upon the water in the first place. Was it just a damn ghost?!
Peter cried out, “Lord, save me!”
This may be the best combination of any three words in any language that can be spoken. Lord save me.
Here the story comes home and grabs hold of something deep in the hearts of every reader. We see ourselves in Peter and we know all too well that sinking feeling. “Jesus immediately reached out his hand and caught him.” I do not care who you are, this surpasses two people walking on water. It is amazing that Jesus can somehow miraculously walk on water. It is even more astounding that somehow Peter can walk on water through some focused moment of faith. But this immediate hand of rescue steals the show! Can you sense it? So much happens in this story, and yet as Jesus extends his hand to pull Peter up somehow there is a collective gasp. Extraordinary!!
Then Jesus says, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?”
What? Peter has just shown faith beyond what any human could possibly muster. He walked on water towards Jesus as the winds sent battering waves against the boat. He hears the voice of Christ and follows it out upon the water. I wonder at this response from Christ. He must have been so proud of Peter as he walked toward him on the water. Was he disappointed as Peter’s heart of faith was replaced with fear? Or is he smiling here with a wink while he puts his arms around Peter in affirmation? I can honestly see some of both but I mostly see a giddy Jesus watching Peter walk on the water thinking, “Yes, he is finally getting it! Go Peter go!” And then, “Well he was getting it. Darn.”
The Bible offers so little in the way of letting us know what tones things are said in or if Jesus smiled while making a comment. Perhaps for brevity sake or for other reasons, it leaves us as readers the space to imagine the story in the many different ways. It is a fun exercise to play with images of Jesus using humor, sarcasm, winks, nods, shoulder shrugs, playful body language, and other such notions when reading the Bible. I highly suggest doing this as often as possible when you read any Biblical story. Try imagining every aspect of the story - smells, sounds, facial expressions, tones of words said. Every rereading of a story can be completely new.
Am I Sinking or Are You Rising?
Perhaps Jesus said to Peter exactly what he needed to hear in that moment so he could go on to be the Peter who did everything else afterwards. I cannot help but make reference to the movie The Matrix. When meeting with the Oracle, Neo looks to her to confirm if he is the One. She says, “Sorry kid, you got the gift but it looks like you are waiting for something, next life maybe who knows.” We find out later, of course, that Neo is in fact the One and that what he had been told that day was what he needed to hear.
I wonder what you need to hear today? What do I need to hear? Perhaps you have already heard it and perhaps not. When all is said and done I take away two wonderful comforts from today’s look at Peter walking on water. The first is that God is always ready to extend a hand to save me from drowning as I walk towards Christ. The second thing I am noticing is an affirmation that God will also speak to me as I need it, not necessarily as I want it. What are you hearing or seeing or noticing?
Knowing these two things it makes it easier to want to step out of the proverbial boat, whatever that might be in life. Jesus comes walking on the water through the storm. We look and see him coming. Someone shouts, “Oh hell no, that’s a damn ghost!” But as we peer through the rain and wind we feel our hearts strangely warmed. Then we hear, “Take heart, it is I; do not be afraid.” Deep down we know it is Christ but we are trembling with fear. We call out to Jesus, as Peter did, “Lord, if it is you, command us to come to you on the water.”
Fuck it. Let’s step out of the boat! Who is going with me?
Below are two more pictures AI generated for me. I guess you could say they are the runners-up for the today’s post pic. Cowboy Jesus walking on water and starry nights Jesus. AI still resists making Jesus middle eastern looking for me for some reason but I am working on it.
